We could be heroes. A dolphin tail.

We could be heroes.

And now ladies and gentlemen here are your beloved volunteers. Please make way and welcome them to the beach. Put your hands together for Julie and Marcel. And the crowd goes wild.

The Champions walk.

 

It didn’t really happen like that. However, somehow it felt like we were champions walking into Wembley stadium for an FA cup final. That first ever feed of the dolphins at Monkey Mia. In our hands holding buckets, with two or three fish each, that we defrosted and weighed carefully in the fish room. A crowd of 180 people on the beach with their backs turned to us as they are watching the dolphins in the shallow. We walked across the sand and moved slowly through the crowd to our chosen dolphin. The crowd is prompted to move their feet out of the water back onto the beach while we, the volunteers, get to stand right next to the dolphin in the water.




Shock taking it all in.

The first dolphin I fed was Shock. To greet me she shot a full repertoire of dolphin clicks at me. Shock than rotated diagonally sideways to look straight at me. I was actually a bit shocked with the attention she gave me. She moved right along side of me while I was handing the fish to… sorry, I cant remember who from the crowd. Absolutely mesmerised I went through the process of feeding the other two fish with two more crowd picks. The ranger who was standing next to me at the time later laughed at me and said that I was calling Shock “mate” all the time even though she's a female. I guess I was just waffling nonsense that first time. The final act of the feed is rinsing the empty bucket in the water. Shock and the others cleverly knew immediately that this was the end of   snack time and super gracefully slid away from me. This is the moment I won't forget, as unexpectedly, I choked up and was looking through a haze of tears at the dolphins as they disappeared into Shark Bay. Where did this reaction come from?

Marcel handing a fish to a member of the crowd
with dolphin paying close attention.

Has life as a semi-grey nomad finally been rewarded?

Every time we went into the water to feed these beautiful creatures something amazing happened. Julie received a belly rub from a pregnant Surprise. Surprise was always nudging our legs carefully to hurry up with that fish already.

Julie being touched by a dolphin.

A large pelican named Rogue appeared at times. We always had to cut up a little extra fish for her as she snapped her beak wildly in the air as if imaginary flies were attacking her. We were told she was blind in one eye and needed redirecting away from the buckets of fish at the beach. No other pelican behaved like this. I was lucky enough to have the job of distracting Rogue to keep her away from the fish buckets during the dolphin feeds. I told Rogue in no uncertain terms she should not be a bloody galah and would not get a fish if she didn’t behave. Luckily she did behave. After taming Rogue I was dubbed the "Rogue" whisperer by the rangers who even wrote this on my volunteering certificate.



Jacob aka Michael Keaton counting
the people on the beach.

We met an amazing couple that were volunteering with us. Jacob and Sabina luckily new what the routine was and showed us how to record every gram and dolphin sighting. After feeding time there were many chores to be done without much pressure and plenty of time for tea and free bikkies.

Sabina having fun in the fish room.

The whole scene on the beach is controlled by two rangers. All the rangers at Monkey Mia were friendly and helpful. Best of all they looked like they were enjoying themselves as much as we did.

Finally - let's do some mathematical brain damage here. If there are 180 people on the beach - four dolphins eating 10 fish, what are your chances of being picked to feed and get up close to a dolphin?  Very little you say?

Go volunteer at Monkey Mia. It is a privilege.

Semi-grey nomad tips and links.

• Feed the dolphins the fish head first. It slides down better.
• If you'd like to volunteer contact Department of Parks and Wildlife Shark Bay District Ph: (08) 9948 1366 | Fax: (08) 9948 1512 | www.sharkbay.org

 

  I wish I could swim!

 

Like dolphins!

 

Like dolphins can swim!

 

(David Bowie, Heroes)

 

 

 

 

 

First job

First Job

“Here we are. In this special place. What are you gonna do here?”
"What show or song are we gonna get from you?"

Waterboys

We were never going to be this far North. A series of recommendations by friends new and old saw us rock up to Denham, Shark bay. Not a bad place to be after all. Every time we roll over the hill at the entrance of town the turquoise water of the bay just takes your breath away. Julie had rang up for a possible cleaning job going in Denham and scored an interview. It was a cleaning position at holiday apartments. The era of dreaded dunny polishing had begun. We were both required to front up for a meeting. We rode our bikes along the stunning Denham foreshore. For the first time ever we attended a job interview dressed in shorts and T-shirts. We were greeted by the lady owner and stood around awkwardly as no seats or drinks were offered. In the office she berated a cute fresh-faced child that had taken over her computer. “I can't wait for the holidays to be over" she muttered. The husband came in to introduce himself and proceeded to tell his wife to focus on the job at hand. How uncool! We had decided Julie would be the one to start working as it was only two weeks since I had finished working and Jules had been a hard working lady of leisure for..... 

How long?

 



Julie finding better toilets to clean elsewhere.

It wasn’t long before Julie worked out how much hard and fast work was required. Maybe it should be put that Julie was not paid an awful lot for cleaning a sea of units and their bathrooms, floors and kitchens. “How spoilt are you?” you must be thinking. I can tell you, it wasn’t the work or the money Jules was adverse to or that the boss was tough.  It was the way she was treated. Isn't it always the way? We are on this quest around Australia full of smiling energy that it makes your jaw hurt. We are looking for a certain meaningful change of direction. Exposing ourselves to people who are a deflated burnt out mess is not high on our agenda right now and does not fit the plan. No matter how hard Julie tried, short abrupt answers were used as chosen reply. At no time during Julie's fleeting relationship with the boss was any attempt made for extended niceties let alone a conversation. A friendly, but polite phone call was made, after three days of tasting Windex and Pine-o-clean.

Meanwhile….

I was recovering at the Denham tourist park from this horrible corky I got when I decided to test to the car to see if it would move at all if I walked into it real fast. It didn’t. Sitting with iced-up leg, elevated on stool, I managed to send an e-mail to the volunteer coordinator of Parks and Wildlife in Perth. “Does the ranger need any help at all?” Surely there must be more to life than sitting around this beautiful place while the missus is slaving away picking grime out of cracked kitchen floor tiles? The answer luckily was yes. Within a matter of a few days, the Ranger Chris emailed, called and picked us up for induction as voluntary camp ground hosts at the Peron homestead. All very impressive! Right?

That day of the induction I fought hard to ignore the pain from that corked leg. I walked almost as normal and managed to kneel down to change a sprinkler or two. This was an opportunity to good to miss. In the end we all got along like a house on fire and even managed to bribe Ranger Chris with some coffee and cake back at the caravan park.

A male emu running away with chicks at the homestead.

On the way to our new posting we had to drive 6km over a red dusty road. About 3km's in of our leisurely cruise it was halted by two male emus with his 6 chicks blocking our way. While we were waiting Chris explained to us that the male emu does the nesting and takes care of the chicks. He went on to tell us that at the homestead the male emus are known to fake fight each other. They would puff out their chest and make themselves as tall as possible. Whoever was the winner would end up looking after the all the chicks combined. Numbers of the flock could rise dramatically. Chris recalls seeing 26 chicks with one father.

"In my opinion the winner here is the real looser" said Ranger Chris.

After several minutes waiting we chose to carefully overtake the running herd. Carefully, but at high speed. They ran on and on, in front of us until, finally, exhausted, one of the males took a right-hand turn into the bush and immediately disappeared with every other emu in tow. What an introduction to our new work place.

For years I have been dreaming of this kind of work. Lots of diesel and dust. Being surrounded by deathening silence. Time to think and grow. Create.

Write.

The deathening silence of the diesel generator waiting to be refuelled.

There it is! Only after three weeks of travel. We are the new camp hosts of The Peron Homestead,

Shark Bay.

Night falls over the homestead.


 

 

Flap, flap bloody flap

Flap, flap bloody flap

Everyone has an opinion about what kind of homely gadget to take around Australia. Some people have more opinion than others. If I had a dollar for every shoulda got this or coulda got that I would have no need to play lotto. So let me have a look at putting my own spiel  on finding the ultimate travel set up semi-grey nomad style.

In the beginning….. there was the mattress, blanket and the stars. It just is the most romantic way of camping. It proves real joy does not have to cost an arm and a leg. I have had the pleasure of driving a poo brown, clapped out Kingswood wagon into the red dust and pull up in that non-light polluted spot and lay on my back with a beautiful girl next to me watching many a fallen star. It's awesome. Baked beans for dinner never tasted this good. I can't remember if we ever had a shower. Travelling without money allowed us to have the time of our lives. Who could have thought that less actually equals more.

Simplicity without complications

But…. There are always one or two of those. One morning you are woken by that stunning sun-rise and find a scorpion under that mattress or you get woken in the middle of the night with some hairy-arsed Wombat chewing on your toes.  The weather is obviously a concern when you are that exposed to anything falling from the sky or that sopping dew in the morning. And so…..

The tent was born. I have had the pleasure to have attempted to sleep in a wide variety of tents. On many a hiking trip one or two man hiking tents are very common to use just in case the hut is overflowing with a corporate challenge mob and there is no room at the Inn. Those tents that are touted light weight, try and carry them all day, can be put up in dune pans, little plucks of bush, forest and on rocky cliffs overlooking the most stunning landscapes. Often no pegs are required but it does feel so much safer to have it nailed down with some guide ropes. In torrential rain I noticed that if the inner tent touches the fly you can get yourself Into a serious wet spot. Look! Hiking tents are insanely flexible and only restricted by trespassing laws and lack of imagination.

Next....

The medium size tent was sent to challenge us. If you like a puzzle get yourself a decent size tent. If you turn up at the camp site late at night and you have just walked out of the store with it you are in for the shock of your life. As you cannot yet find your head torch, you will be dependant on your blinding car headlights to guide you. Eventually you will have managed to erect it unharmoniously with your dearly beloved and not a grain of help from the kids that keep on running over the canvas. Several days later you would have found the instructions you kept in a handy place. You know the one place where you would be sure to have found it.  Exhausted, you will lay down on your bouncy sea sickness evoking mattress.  Many a man has flipped his misses up in the air by rolling around on the blow up mattress. From the tent in any commercial or government campsite you can follow the neighbours arguments until the small hours of the morning or worse you can pick up handy skills off two drunk boners mumbling how to take flesh off a bone two meters from were you lay, scared, with eyes wide open. You discover that tents are not snore proof as you lay awake all night working out exercise programs and diet changes for the offending neighbour.

And than… a metamorphosis of biblical proportions.The dome tent. I am to this day scratching my head as to why the traditional tent shape was overrun by its rounded cousin. If you were to camp at the North pole and required to enjoy a blizzard or two? Maybe. Try organising all your square gear in a round tent and remember to feed the right pole through the right sleeve.

With tents it appears that all the gear you thought you needed for this trip is stashed mainly outside. Shipping containers full of stuff on and under tables spreading like a virus through the campsite. Your car will look like a dog's breakfast.  Out of desperation gear will end up hanging in trees . Your campsite will look like post cyclone Armageddon. In and among all stray looking husbands will be asking their wives again and again where the thingymegic is that fits in the dovywhatsit. Aahhh!!  Camping is such great fun.

The Taj Mah tent. A tent for six persons at Boranup 2011.

No don’t get me wrong I love camping in tents.  Bring the kids into nature and yourself back into it too after a long absence . Reconnect to people that  try the get away from the daily grind as hard as you are. Sitting around a camp fire staring into the flame. Roast some marsh-mellows to charcoal. Set up a treasure hunt. Get the kids to build some huts. Have some clean family fun without those damn gadgets.

Just recently we camped at Shelter bay in the Steep Point National Park in Shark Bay. We have this brand new rooftop tent installed  one week before we left which inspired me to write this. This part of Western Australia is famous for being one of the most windiest areas in the world. Julie described the night we spend there as if a Goliath like creature trying to get in all night. Flap, flap bloody flap. Lucky I found some earplugs. We cut that trip short.

So the evolution of camping modes has brought us to Le Moment Surprime. The sexed up version of the long forgotten tent.  Hot canvas on wheels. The holy campertrailer. Slide in, slide out fridges. Kitchen draws, sinks and water taps. Oolalaaa!! Some can be erected by simply winding it up or down others just open up like a clam on heat. I have seen flatscreen TV's that disappear gently into the manifold by the click of a button. All of a sudden we are talking solar blankets, 12 volt bliss and massive water tanks for long hot steamy showers. This will all come at a price.

 

Our old Camper trailer in full flight at Boranup 2011

We had another memorable night in Exmouth 2009, Western Australia where our annex tried to fly to the Eastern states with clothes line and clothes still pegged to it.

What options are left? Foolishly I have always counted out any mode of transport I cannot unhook from my car and leave behind set up. That just about kills off that Winnabago or converted bus idea. Most of those palaces on wheels are way, way, way beyond my price range. But one day I may be persuaded otherwise.

In the end a caravan appeared to be the answer to it all. No flapping canvas if that's your choice. Most caravans will have good square storage spaces and just the right amount of affordable luxury. Have your caravan fully enclosed so you don't have to listen to drunk grey nomads arguing how to park their van. This is just my opinion. No need to get in a flap about it. 

Tips for the camping semi-grey nomad

For camping:

• Make sure there is no reception, electricity and don’t bring a TV for anyone.
• Organise and prepare activities. Eg: cards, treasure hunt prizes, sparklers, glow in the dark sticks, marsh-mellows, extra torches for animal spotting, fins and snorkels etc.
• Remember the fun and games you had when you were young. Pac-Man excluded. What games did you play that your kids could have some fun with?
• Different terrain requires different gear. When we go four wheel driving we leave our caravan behind and sleep in our roofy.  

The rooftop tent in full flight

 

Doctors orders

Doctors orders

“My back is playing up” were the words I uttered to the Doctor. I had taken some days off with tension and soreness in my back. The job involved moving objects from one end of the table to the other in a sitting position and lifting boxes from the floor to the table. The Doctor took a long look at me, drew a deep breath and without any examination this is what he said to me.

A thorny devil caught in a
four-wheel drive track.
François Peron National Park.

 “I see guys like you in here every day. You look tired and worn out. You have probably been waiting for a promotion but they have overlooked you for some younger person. Why  don’t you go and do something you like?” I can still hear my mouth falling wide open with a thud.  This is definitely not the kind of treatment I expected for a back complaint. I replied with all the excuses to this onslaught in my mind  and at that particular moment a rather harsh diagnosis. “Ahh yes but…… and several uhmms. But I would like to achieve this and that. What about the kids? Family? Money.”  I merely answered meekly. I knew he was right and that I have been saying the same thing to myself for many years. I was caught like a thorny devil in a four-wheel drive track.

In the car on the way home my mind went into overdrive. I  could not wait to throw some wild plans at my beautiful partner Julie. When I arrived home I got stuck in immediately. “We are doing such and such and going here and there” I said. It was then that I suddenly noticed that Julie was very quiet. When I finally stopped waffling and got over myself she told me she had to have a suspect mole removed from her leg. The skin specialist had dropped the “Melanoma” word.  Enthusiasm can be such a bastard.

Of course I spent the next day holding Julie’s hand at the surgery while she had a neat little incision made with Dancing Queen playing in the background. By the time Fernando was playing Julie had stitches in her leg and was paying the hefty bill at reception.

The whole thing is a reminder that we are all just mere mortals and will return to dust hopefully later than sooner.  I have seen the signs before on many occasions but tried to ignore them. A year or so ago two little kidney stones screamed “you are going to die now!!!!” This time death upped the ante and now forced us to consider our mortality together.

It was just the push we needed. The horse had bolted. Let’s go out in a careful bang. Doctors orders.

Semi-grey nomad tips

• Keep a close eye on your skin and consult a specialist when changes of any kind occur.
• “Yes!! I know!!! - Boooooring”.  Slip, slop, slap.

Take care in the Australian sun. Big Lagoon. Shark Bay.

• Don’t wait for your body to hit the self-destruct button before reaching out for your dreams.
• Now is a great time.