Flap, flap bloody flap
Everyone has an opinion about what kind of homely gadget to take around Australia. Some people have more opinion than others. If I had a dollar for every
shoulda got this or coulda got that I would have no need to play lotto.
So let me have a look at putting my own spiel
on finding the ultimate travel set up semi-grey nomad style.
In the beginning….. there was the mattress, blanket and the
stars. It just is the most romantic way of camping. It proves real joy does not
have to cost an arm and a leg. I have had the pleasure of driving a poo brown,
clapped out Kingswood wagon into the red dust and pull up in that non-light
polluted spot and lay on my back with a beautiful girl next to me watching many
a fallen star. It's awesome. Baked beans for dinner never tasted this good. I
can't remember if we ever had a shower. Travelling without money allowed us to
have the time of our lives. Who could have thought that less actually equals
more.
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| Simplicity without complications |
But…. There are always one or two of those. One morning you are woken
by that stunning sun-rise and find a scorpion under that mattress or you get
woken in the middle of the night with some hairy-arsed Wombat chewing on your
toes. The weather is obviously a concern
when you are that exposed to anything falling from the sky or that sopping dew
in the morning. And so…..
The tent was born. I have had the pleasure to have attempted to sleep in a wide
variety of tents. On many a hiking trip one or two man hiking tents are very
common to use just in case the hut is overflowing with a corporate challenge
mob and there is no room at the Inn. Those tents that are touted light weight, try and
carry them all day, can be put up in dune pans, little plucks of bush, forest
and on rocky cliffs overlooking the most stunning landscapes. Often no pegs
are required but it does feel so much safer to have it nailed down with some
guide ropes. In torrential rain I noticed that if the inner tent touches the
fly you can get yourself Into a serious wet spot. Look! Hiking tents are
insanely flexible and only restricted by trespassing laws and lack of
imagination.
Next....
The medium size tent was sent to challenge us. If you
like a puzzle get yourself a decent size tent. If you turn up at the camp site
late at night and you have just walked out of the store with it you are in for
the shock of your life. As you cannot yet find your head torch, you will be
dependant on your blinding car headlights to guide you. Eventually you will have managed to erect
it unharmoniously with your dearly beloved and not a grain of help from the
kids that keep on running over the canvas. Several days later you would have found the
instructions you kept in a handy place. You know the one place where you would be sure to have found it.
Exhausted, you will lay down on your bouncy sea sickness evoking mattress. Many a man has flipped his misses up in the air by rolling around on the blow up mattress. From the tent in any commercial or government
campsite you can follow the neighbours arguments until the small hours of the
morning or worse you can pick up handy skills off two drunk boners mumbling how
to take flesh off a bone two meters from were you lay, scared, with eyes wide open. You discover that tents are not snore proof as you lay awake all night working out exercise programs and diet changes for the offending neighbour.
And than… a metamorphosis of biblical proportions.The dome tent. I am to this
day scratching my head as to why the traditional tent shape was overrun by its
rounded cousin. If you were to camp at the North pole and required to enjoy a
blizzard or two? Maybe. Try organising all your square gear in a round tent and remember to feed the right pole through the right sleeve.
With tents it appears that all the gear you thought
you needed for this trip is stashed mainly outside. Shipping containers full of
stuff on and under tables spreading like a virus through the campsite. Your
car will look like a dog's breakfast. Out
of desperation gear will end up hanging in trees . Your campsite will look like post cyclone Armageddon. In and among all stray looking husbands will be asking their wives again and again where
the thingymegic is that fits in the dovywhatsit. Aahhh!! Camping is such great fun.
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| The Taj Mah tent. A tent for six persons at Boranup 2011. |
So the evolution of camping modes has brought us to Le Moment Surprime. The sexed up version of the long forgotten tent. Hot canvas on wheels. The holy campertrailer. Slide in, slide out fridges. Kitchen draws, sinks and water taps. Oolalaaa!! Some can be erected by simply winding it up or down others just open up like a clam on heat. I have seen flatscreen TV's that disappear gently into the manifold by the click of a button. All of a sudden we are talking solar blankets, 12 volt bliss and massive water tanks for long hot steamy showers. This will all come at a price.
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| Our old Camper trailer in full flight at Boranup 2011 |
We had another memorable night in Exmouth 2009, Western Australia where our annex tried to fly to the Eastern states with clothes line and clothes still pegged to it.
What options are left? Foolishly I have always counted out any mode of transport I cannot unhook from my car and leave behind set up. That just about kills off that Winnabago or converted bus idea. Most of those palaces on wheels are way, way, way beyond my price range. But one day I may be persuaded otherwise.
In the end a caravan appeared to be the answer to it all. No flapping canvas if that's your choice. Most caravans will have good square storage spaces and just the right amount of affordable luxury. Have your caravan fully enclosed so you don't have to listen to drunk grey nomads arguing how to park their van. This is just my opinion. No need to get in a flap about it.
Tips for the camping semi-grey nomad
For camping:
- Make sure there is no reception, electricity and don’t bring a TV for anyone.
- Organise and prepare activities. Eg: cards, treasure hunt prizes, sparklers, glow in the dark sticks, marsh-mellows, extra torches for animal spotting, fins and snorkels etc.
- Remember the fun and games you had when you were young. Pac-Man excluded. What games did you play that your kids could have some fun with?
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| The rooftop tent in full flight |
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